Neither-Nor Nights

This is the first evening I have spent alone in the house in what seems like forever. I love solitude, but I forget the shock of it. It feels once again like last fall, when I no longer had to keep running off-island for Institute-related events, etc... I'd also taken a week of vacation off- in part to go to a friend's wedding, and in part to break up with Prasanth- I came back a free woman and relieved, but for a while my evenings seemed empty. The feelings left- I ended up doing a lot of walking and writing- nonetheless, tonight there's hint of that listlessness. The barking dog and the owl agree.

I should have wandered it out of my system before dark, but instead I finished a book, one with an abrupt ending, which did nothing but make the evening odder. Now I need to choose: move on to another book to pass the time, clean, or venture out. How very odd it is to crave society. Especially after all the time I have spent with people in the last two months. Normally on nights like these when I am all unsettled, I like to go out and just see that someone is being social- summer is good for that, with all the houses ablaze with light and loud with voices.

I should be writing to a purpose, but I feel unfocused. Awful Neither-Nor Nights- when nothing seems quite satisfactory.

Oh well, I will find some sort of escapism until I can reasonably go to bed, so to wake at an early hour, caffienate, and take on the day.